Checkout Obsession
Start with the dopamine and work backwards. If a click feels good, we’re halfway there. The other half is just the beginning
Leadership Principles
We use our Leadership Principles every day, routing out rogue elements, stifling individuality, or just simply deciding on the best way to do nothing.
Own-ish-ship
We own the outcome (a feeling), not the package (there isn’t one), and your job (you don't have one) depends on it. Nothing is more important
Exploit & Over-Simplify
Ideas can be exploited from anyone! Complicated? Who cares! You got hands, wave'em away. Problems? Hand-wave. Shitty user experience? Hand-wave. Overly extractive behaviors and attitudes? Not your problem. There is no limit to what you can make someone elses problem.
Are Right, All the Time
This shit is gold.
Learn & Be Buy Curious
The moment is yours.
Hire & Develop the Best NPC's
Resumes are capitalisms purchase history of your soul. We love that. Nothing is real. That includes you.
Insist on the Highest Standards (of Low-Stakes Satisfaction)
Tidiness is next to jeffliness. The experience ships. Qualia is everything
Think Big, Cart Small
Grand theater, tiny commitment. One orange button to rule the mood.
Bias for Action (Then Retro-justify)
Click first and let God sort them out.
Frugality: Do More with Less Than Nothing
No pain, no gain.
Earn Trust (By Telling the Truth, Eventually)
I promise you nothing.
Dive Deep (Into Shallow Things)
Obsess the micro-beats: hover shadows, star spacing, email subject lines. Detail is destiny.
Have Backbone; Disagree & Commit to the Bit
Debate hard, then go all-in on the joke. If we flinch, the punchline misses.
Deliver Results (Feelings, Specifically)
Our KPIs: smiles, shares, screenshots.
Strive to Be Earth’s Best Pretend Employer
Lead with empathy. We invented FWORK (fun at work with a fork), because lunchtime was boring. Fun is mandatory. If you're not having fun, well that's going to result in a verbal warning.
Success & Scale Bring Broad Responsibility (To Waste Zero Cardboard)
We’re big on impact, light on footprint. Leave the planet better and the inbox happier.