Brime+Because why not?
Brime+ lets you pay more for the same ethereal checkout—now with longer confirmation emails, ruder upsells, and priority smugness.
- Brime concierge available 25/7 to roll their eyes on demand.
- Complimentary monthly “We noticed you upgraded” email.
- Access to the Brime lounge (a vibes-only notion).
Premium perks
- Extended confirmation emails with director's commentary
- Priority placement in our sarcasm queue
- Monthly placebo audits (optional, mandatory)
- Exclusive access to the "Suffer More" toggle
Prime vs Brime+
Spot the differences. There aren’t many, and yet…
| Feature | Prime | Brime+ |
|---|---|---|
| Price | $0.00 | $14.99/mo |
| Compliments | Occasional | Backhanded, frequent |
| Customer Service | Form letter | Personalized snark |
| Shipping | Imaginary | Imaginary (premium) |
| Status | Fine | Smug |
Brime+ bills immediately and forever. Cancellation requests are lovingly ignored.
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